If I ever needed a brain transplant, Id choose a sportswriter because Id want a brain that had never been used. Michael Pineda Jersey .- Norm Van Brocklin When I was 13, I transferred to a new school for the first time. I had spent ten years from junior kindergarten through Grade 8 at the northwest corner of Bathurst Street and Viewmount Avenue in midtown Toronto. It was my home court advantage. I knew the roll of the rims and the carom of the walls and which teachers were lax at taking attendance. It couldnt last forever. At some point a promotion was coming, and my record setting minor league career wouldnt matter once new maths and makeup-laden girls challenged all that I had honed. I was heading to St. Andrews Junior High. Grade 9. The Show. Embarking on my first day in the wilds of the public school system, I knew I had to make my mark early. Mr. Pelech, my clever English teacher, noticed my t-shirt just minutes into the first class. It was a tattered, ink-drenched Grateful Dead concert tee. He remarked that "Grateful Dead" was an example of a contradiction. Contra what now? Coach tapped my shoulder and I hopped the boards. I proceeded to argue with a shellshocked Mr. Pelech for several minutes. My arguments were lithe, varied and completely illogical, but I had been trained to stand my ground no matter how ridiculous my position. Eventually, a hapless Mr. Pelech scanned the class and sputtered, "Just who is this guy?" Each one of my classmates shook their heads sheepishly as if to say uh, dont look at me. Mark made. Within two weeks I owned that school. They didnt realize the repressed explosiveness that ten years of private school Yiddish lessons would unleash. It is in this brazen spirit I introduce myself to you now, Dear Reader, as your new weekly columnist for Bardown. Why was I chosen as The One to guide you through the international sports landscape, particularly with so many scribes vying for your sports-saturated eyeballs? Commence the elucidation (AKA bring da noize): Basketball. This is my wheelhouse. I know all the lyrics to Kurtis Blows Basketball and I have for decades. I own a Sweet Georgia Brown-humming Harlem Globetrotters pinball machine from 1979. I still play pickup every week at a local high school against stiff competition in their very extremely late twenties. Also, I was an associate producer for the Toronto Towers of the NBA for nearly 500 games, post-games, pre-games and exactly five playoff games. Ooh, another thing, I call the Toronto Raptors the Toronto Towers because I have some self-respect. Baseball. I spent five teenage summers selling peanuts outside the Dome under the alias Mike Simmons. Despite a promising career as a sidearm Eephus pitch-throwing specialist, the leagues advanced scouts were never able to unravel the mysteries of my potential, because apparently throwing over the plate was a "prerequisite for success". Racists. I submit that using the All Star Game to decide home field advantage in the World Series is akin to the winner of the submission portion of Americas Funniest Home Videos determining the nominees for The Oscars Best Picture award. Also, you can thank me for getting the old Blue Jays logo back, as days after writing this piece, the marketing director for the Jays was following me on Twitter, and months later a new logo was born. Also, my therapist says I have something called a narcissistic personality disorder. Football. In 1998, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue the dream of being rich and famous which is why you know me so well today. That same year I became a fan of an upstart outfit known as the Baltimore Ravens because I thought Ray Lewis was almost definitely innocent of murder and I am obsessed with Edgar Allan Poe. Fifteen glorious seasons later I have two championship rings (made of foil and buttons) as my testament. I have correctly predicted, in pre-season, the Super Bowl participants for 13 consecutive years and I defy you to prove otherwise. (Note: Please dont reference my Twitter feed. Just be cool. This claim is all I have.) Hockey. I worked camera on the 2003 documentary A Day in the Life of the Maple Leafs so I know a thing or two about hockey. Well, exactly two things. One, when I was eight years old, my teenage neighbour convinced me his Mats Naslund rookie card could be mine for the extremely low price of my 1979 O-Pee-Chee Wayne Gurtski rookie card. (Note: I have forgotten how to spell that particular Edmonton Oilers name. At least my night terrors have subsided.) Two, I have developed an algorithm demonstrating the NHL to be the worst run league in the history of Industry. It involves a complicated geometric measurement involving my eyes and common sense. (A fact I will gladly prove over and over again until they, oh I dont know, realign the conferences to have an equal amount of teams. Lets start there.) Fantasy Sports. I Am Legend. In its heyday of 2001, my sprawling website, mikegallay.com, was a sports fantasy powerhouse boasting 16 writers covering all sports, catering to an audience of nearly 16 unique daily readers (and fans of ravines who misspelled mygulley.com). Chances are, if you were a Canadian sports fan in the early 2000s, you were reading articles about topics we also covered on mikegallay.com. The Professor And Mary Ann. I will happily cover all the secondary sports every time a participant either murders someone, is attacked by a spouse using the tools of their own sport, has sex on camera on TMZ, or breaks an important racial, cultural or gender barrier while also keeping our interest for more than eight minutes. Thats my pledge. Am I the precisely correct author to bring you whimsical, satirical, deadly accurate analysis of the sports that matter to you? Absolutely. And can I say that with total sincerity because part of my contract stipulates I have no editor? Two for two. Have I earned your attention to read my column next week? Lets put it this way. My topic will be 23 Ways to Make Over 7K a Week Working Part Time From Your Couch. My third column will be Bardown Seeks New Columnist, No Experience Required. Gallays Poll #1 What would you like to see Gallay write about in his next column? a) A 20,000-word essay conclusively proving Mike is the third Williams sister. b) Doug Gilmours Secret Recipes for 3am Snacks. c) My Weekend In The Hamptons With Barry Bonds. d) No column, just use this space to expand Badminton coverage. Logan Morrison Jersey . -- Canadian ski cross star Marielle Thompson accomplished two goals in one race Saturday. Kirby Puckett Jersey . As the Winnipeg Blue Bombers opened their main training camp Sunday, Kuale is one of the newcomers brought in to bolster a sagging defence that ranked overall where the Bombers finished 2013, in the CFL cellar with a league high 585 points against. http://www.twinsrookiestore.com/Twins-Anibal-Sanchez-Kids-Jersey/ . -- D.A. Points was disqualified Friday from the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am for using a training device while waiting to play the 18th hole at Pebble Beach.Danny Welbecks 95th-minute winner for Arsenal against Leicester in February was the most talked about moment of the Barclays Premier League title race on Twitter. The goal, which gave Arsenal a 2-1 victory and appeared a crucial result at the time, attracted 51,000 tweets per minute.Leicesters fairytale season has captured the imagination of sports fans around the world and 33,000 tweets a minute were sent when Jamie Vardy broke the Premier League record in November by scoring in an 11th consecutive game. The Foxes, who can clinch the title with victory over Manchester United on Sunday, have produced stunning results all season and the third most tweeted about moment came when Robert Huth put them 3-0 up at Manchester City in February. Arsenal forward Danny Welbeck scored this dramatic 95th minute winner against Leicester in February Tottenhams dogged pursuit looks set to end in failure but for Spurs there will be the considerable consolation of Champions League football next season.They are also poised to finish ahead of rivals Arsenal, and 28,000 tweets per minute were sent when Harry Kane put Tottenham 2-1 ahead against the Gunners in March in a game which eventually ended 2-2. Jamie Vardy scored for a record-breaking 11th consecutive Premier League game against Manchester United drew The north London derby features four times on Twitters list of the 15 most popular moments of the battle between Leicester and Spurs. Bert Blyleven Jersey. Goals from Alexis Sanchez and Aaron Ramsey in that game are numbers eight and nine, while a rare goal from Kieran Gibbs to earn Arsenal a 1-1 draw in November attracted 20,000 tweets per minute, making it the 11th most talked about moment. Kieran Gibbs celebrates scoring Arsenals equalising goal against Tottenham in November But 10 of the 15 moments came during Leicester games, with the Foxes exploits continually getting football fans talking.Vardy was the most talked about player, featuring in four of the top 15 moments, while Professional Footballers Association Player of the Year Riyad Mahrez made the list twice with goals against Manchester City and Chelsea. Also See: Fans need to back us says Wenger Wenger under pressure Pundits pre-season Leicester predictions Arsenal fixtures Cheap Soccer Jerseys Authentic Wholesale Hockey Jerseys Nike NFL Jerseys China Cheap Nike MLB Jerseys China Wholesale Baseball Jerseys China Wholesale College Jerseys Cheap Jerseys From China Wholesale Jerseys Near Me Cheap Jerseys Online Cheap NFL Jerseys Authentic Cheap Nike NFL Jerseys Authentic Cheap Soccer Jerseys China Cheap NCAA Jerseys Authentic Cheap Nike NBA Jerseys Cheap NHL Jerseys Authentic MLB Jerseys China Cheap Jerseys From China Cheap NFL Throwback Jerseys Cheap Nike NFL Jerseys Cheap NFL Jerseys China ' ' '